St. Louis put their best foot forward...

What great hospitality.  Can we come back for a long weekend???

I would just like to go on record for the following:

A.) I get it.  I KNOW smoking is bad for me.  I understand it on an emotional level, a scientific level and a social level.  I also know that there are very FEW places that I smoke in public or private.  I don't smoke in my house or anyone else's house, I don't smoke in bars or restaurants-even tho I would pay you even MORE is you let me, blah, blah, blah...

B.)  It is against the law.  As much as a rebel as I would like to think I am, I get it!  I cannot smoke in your hotel, bathroom, bar, restaurant, bus  stop, etc.  I get it; I don't do it.

C.)  Well I have forgotten what C was.

Can I just say.....

OMG I LOVE THIS BAR!!!!!!!  I was allowed to smoke while having a cocktail.  I was beside myself.  I kept making apologizes for smoking but everyone kept telling me to stop.  Not stop smoking; stop apologizing.   I am in LOVE with St. Charles, Missouri.

In my mind we were celebrating Cookies birthday.  He turns 50 at the end of May but none of us will be together so in my mind's eye this was it.  Let's have fun.  Let's smoke!

So I am back to smoking 2-6 cigarettes a day.  But what a night in St. Charles...

Cough, cough, gag, gag...

OMG We are heading to St. Louis...bitches!!!

WTF is going on???

Dear Lord,

Please let me get to St. Louis safely.

Thank you,

Sippi

Just sayin'.  Please so not SLEEP and drive. Please do not TEXT and drive.  Please do not PHONE and drive.  Please do not FACEBOOK and drive.  Scares me.

No Sir, We Don't Have Any Drugs In the Car...

South Dakota State Trooper

Outside of Sioux City, South Dakota

So after we hit the Corn Palace at 6:15 this morning we hit the road!  Yay South Dakota!  We got our coffees and headed out on the road  - onward to St. Louis.  Birdie was first to drive and I was tired so...So I grabbed the pillow and leaned the seat back.  I was happy that I was the first one that got to nap - and it was only 6:45 AM so I was good to go!  I had been napping for a good 20 minutes (had already woke myself up a few times snoring) when I felt the car slow down and moving to the side.  I leaned up and forward and  looked around.  "Oh no" Birdie said sadly.  "Are we getting pulled over?" I asked groggily.  "Yes"! she said.  "Oh" I said as I hit the lever to sit my car seat upright.

Next thing I know there is a tank of a man beside my window which I was already rolling down.  We went through the whole "I'm pulling you over for speeding, blah blah blah" thing and he immediately told us that Bird was doing 68 in a 65 and that he would be issuing her a warning.  Whewwwww!  right?  So he gets her license and asked for registration, etc.  Then he says that he needs her to step out of her vehicle and come back to his cruiser so he can show her the radar gun and write the ticket.  I didn't really thing too much about this - she looked terrified - I told her it would be fine and off she goes.

We Pass the K-9 Test...

So off Bird goes and the cop tells her that the dog - which is locked in the back seat - is "going to freak out when you open the door to get in" - Gee? Really?  Thanks.  So he shows her the radar, writes her the warning ticket and proceeds to ask her if she has any drugs or anything else in the car to cause the dog to alarm him.  "No...but I do have a shot gun".  To which he basically tells her, "I'm not worried about that".  Alriiiiight.  Side Note:  We have a 20 single barrel under the car seat that she is bringing to Michigan for her little brother's 13th birthday gift.  It is not loaded, has no ammunition with it and is perfectly being carried legally.  Just sayin'.

Yep.  That's an Official Warning!

Bird comes back to the car and off we go.  No worries, right?  Wrong.  Bird is clearly upset and weirded out.  She is still gobsmacked as to why she got pulled over in the first place.  And I have no good words of wisdom other than to keep repeating, "At least he only gave you a warning".  Granted, I KNOW that was not very comforting.

My Mother's Worst Case Scenario

Reality!

  

Kiss The Blarney Stone...

Bartender Sam

Blarney's, Mitchell, South Dakota

Our Bartender Sam from Blarney's in Mitchell, South Dakota.  He tried to "hang" with us but his manager had to tell him to quit doing shots.  Apparently this buffed out 21 year old is a lightweight - his own words!!!  He opened a new bottle of Rumple, so it was warm.  Birdie asked him if he would shake it, meaning chill it in a shaker, and he looked at her kinda wierd and said, "ok".  Then proceeded to shake the bottle and his ass at us.  We were both a little stunned for a minute.  Found out shortly after that, he had only been a bartender for 2 weeks!  Priceless!!!  He was very sweet and we had a good time!

Sippi Salutes the Corn Palace

Mitchell, South Dakota

It said that the "Corn Palace Salutes Student athletes" it seemed like the least I could do...just sayin'.  Mind you, it was 6:30 in the morning.

Birdie at the World's Largest Bird Feeder, the Corn  Palace

Mitchell, South Dakota

Ta-da!

Raod Kill 101...

Road Trippin'...

So we had a very uneventful driving day - which is good!  We had many moments in which we both had to laugh at what "good Montana girls" we are.  We are both talkers - okay, BIG talkers.  So Birdie and I "talked" for 12 hours today.  Well Birdie took a 10 minute nap but I'll get to that later...

Back to being "good Montana girls"...first off, there were so many dead animals along side the road.  We saw dead deer, dead raccoon, dead turkey, dead crow, dead fox, dead marmot, dead weasel, dead skunk, dead coyote, dead pheasant, and dead unidentifiable animal.  This isn't anything unusual.  What some people would probably think is unusual is our thoughts and feelings about the LIVE animals we saw.

We like to eat meat.  We are carnivores.  We are not ashamed.

So as we traveled across the great state of Montana and the great state of South Dakota, we daydreamed about the animals we saw, and what side dishes we would like to have with them.  I'll admit it, we actually called out the animals we saw and talked about how we would cook them.  We started with Baby Cow...

Mashed Potatoes

Bacon and Blue Cheese

Sauteed Onions and Garlic

 

Roasted New Potatoes

 

Grilled Asparagus

 

Grandma's Cream Gravy and Green Beans

 

Yes, we are going to Hell.  But we will be going to Hell with our bellies full!

The Corn Palace Awaits Us...

The Corn Palace

Mitchell, South Dakota

Birdie and I are getting ready to take off on the BEST.ROAD.TRIP.EVER.  And by getting ready I mean that we sat at the Bakery for 2 hours this morning talking about all the things that we need to get down by 7am tomorrow morning. And drinking coffee. A lot of coffee.  The breaks on my truck are doing odd things and so our official first stop on the road trip is to stop in Bozeman and drop my truck off at the mechanics so he can fix it while we are gone.  So we will have traveled exactly 46 miles before our first stop.  We are assuming we will make better time as we go and won't be stopping every 45 minutes.

 

Speaking of which...our first scheduled overnight stop of the BEST.ROAD.TRIP.EVER is in Mitchell, South Dakota - home of the Mitchell Corn Palace.  Yay corn!  Not sure it will be open when we get into town or if it will be open in the morning before we leave - but we're hoping.  If nothing else, we can get our picture taken in front of the darn thing...just to prove we were there.  Now I have been to the Corn Palace several times, as I am good 'Ota girl.  This means that I was born in and/or lived in at least two of the 'Ota states...Minnesota, North Dakota or South Dakota.  Just for the record...Born:  Minnesota, Primary Education:  North Dakota, Advanced Education:  Minnesota, 25+ years of life:  Minnesota.  And both my parents and most of my Grandparents are from South Dakota.  Hence, I'm a good 'Ota girl.  Birdie, however has never been to the Corn Palace.  She likes to buy cheap crap just like the rest of us so I am certain she will enjoy it!

 

I digress...so after the Bakery, we both took off to finish getting packed and what-not.  I of course had to take a detour to the top of the Mountain so I could dig through my recycling garbage can.  Occurred to me while at the Bakery that I had accidentally thrown away a very important piece of paper.   It was the piece of paper that had all of Cookies phone numbers on it.  If you have been following the Blog, you will remember that our friend Cookie is who we are going to see in St. Louis.  Cookie lives in Big Sky but is currently on "off-season" and headed home to Missouri to visit his family.  Now those of us living in the 21st century have no need for a list of phone numbers because we all have cell phones. Cookie does NOT believe in the modern convenience of a cell phone.  He's all old school...

 

Cookie's Phone

 

So anyhoo, when Cookie left town he had to write down our phone numbers and I had to write down all of his Family's phone numbers so we can get a hold of him when we get to St. Louis.  I had forgot my cell phone at work that day or I would have just entered them directly.  But alas, I had them written on an actually sheet of paper, which I promptly recycled in my office.  Good grief!!  So up the Mountain I drove...

Lone Peak

Big Sky, Montana

 

And it is not that I mind driving up the Mountain; it's 9 miles of the most beautiful place on earth.  However, I have a break issue in my truck so I was a little concerned about driving down the Mountain.  I went back to my office, which I swore I wouldn't do for another two weeks, and dug through the recycling can.  Ta-da!  Right where I tossed it.  So now we are back on track; we have a means to get a hold of Cookie when we hit St. Charles, Missouri, which is the second night's stop on the trip.

Alright, back to "getting ready" so we can take off tomorrow morning at 7am.  The Corn Palace Awaits Us...

Shot of Tequila with a Bourbon Chaser Anyone?

Why yes, I think I will!

Our fairwell to Big Sky before our Baseball Road trip is going to be the Deby de Mayo party at the Half Moon Saloon.  Birdie is the bartender there and I will act as Mistress of Cermonies for the night.  There will be:

• Betting on the Derby
• Watching the Derby
• Best Hat contest
• Specials on mint julips
• Multi top shelf bourbons to try

then...

• a Tequila tasting (sponsored by The Cave Wine and Spirits)
• Tacos and stuff

then...

• BAR Olympics to include..
• Licnese plate scavneger
• Pounding a nail into a log (for speed) - I know it sounds weird and it is but it is amuzing watching slightly intoxicated people try and do this.
• Beer chug-a-lug
• Popcorn eating contest perhaps
• Ping-pong bucket toss
• The clothes pin game perhaps
• and of course knocking the stuffin' out of some pinatas

And a DJ and lots of free stuff!

Tents or sleeping in your truck is highly recommended!