St. Louis put their best foot forward...

What great hospitality.  Can we come back for a long weekend???

I would just like to go on record for the following:

A.) I get it.  I KNOW smoking is bad for me.  I understand it on an emotional level, a scientific level and a social level.  I also know that there are very FEW places that I smoke in public or private.  I don't smoke in my house or anyone else's house, I don't smoke in bars or restaurants-even tho I would pay you even MORE is you let me, blah, blah, blah...

B.)  It is against the law.  As much as a rebel as I would like to think I am, I get it!  I cannot smoke in your hotel, bathroom, bar, restaurant, bus  stop, etc.  I get it; I don't do it.

C.)  Well I have forgotten what C was.

Can I just say.....

OMG I LOVE THIS BAR!!!!!!!  I was allowed to smoke while having a cocktail.  I was beside myself.  I kept making apologizes for smoking but everyone kept telling me to stop.  Not stop smoking; stop apologizing.   I am in LOVE with St. Charles, Missouri.

In my mind we were celebrating Cookies birthday.  He turns 50 at the end of May but none of us will be together so in my mind's eye this was it.  Let's have fun.  Let's smoke!

So I am back to smoking 2-6 cigarettes a day.  But what a night in St. Charles...

Cough, cough, gag, gag...

OMG We are heading to St. Louis...bitches!!!

WTF is going on???

Dear Lord,

Please let me get to St. Louis safely.

Thank you,

Sippi

Just sayin'.  Please so not SLEEP and drive. Please do not TEXT and drive.  Please do not PHONE and drive.  Please do not FACEBOOK and drive.  Scares me.

No Sir, We Don't Have Any Drugs In the Car...

South Dakota State Trooper

Outside of Sioux City, South Dakota

So after we hit the Corn Palace at 6:15 this morning we hit the road!  Yay South Dakota!  We got our coffees and headed out on the road  - onward to St. Louis.  Birdie was first to drive and I was tired so...So I grabbed the pillow and leaned the seat back.  I was happy that I was the first one that got to nap - and it was only 6:45 AM so I was good to go!  I had been napping for a good 20 minutes (had already woke myself up a few times snoring) when I felt the car slow down and moving to the side.  I leaned up and forward and  looked around.  "Oh no" Birdie said sadly.  "Are we getting pulled over?" I asked groggily.  "Yes"! she said.  "Oh" I said as I hit the lever to sit my car seat upright.

Next thing I know there is a tank of a man beside my window which I was already rolling down.  We went through the whole "I'm pulling you over for speeding, blah blah blah" thing and he immediately told us that Bird was doing 68 in a 65 and that he would be issuing her a warning.  Whewwwww!  right?  So he gets her license and asked for registration, etc.  Then he says that he needs her to step out of her vehicle and come back to his cruiser so he can show her the radar gun and write the ticket.  I didn't really thing too much about this - she looked terrified - I told her it would be fine and off she goes.

We Pass the K-9 Test...

So off Bird goes and the cop tells her that the dog - which is locked in the back seat - is "going to freak out when you open the door to get in" - Gee? Really?  Thanks.  So he shows her the radar, writes her the warning ticket and proceeds to ask her if she has any drugs or anything else in the car to cause the dog to alarm him.  "No...but I do have a shot gun".  To which he basically tells her, "I'm not worried about that".  Alriiiiight.  Side Note:  We have a 20 single barrel under the car seat that she is bringing to Michigan for her little brother's 13th birthday gift.  It is not loaded, has no ammunition with it and is perfectly being carried legally.  Just sayin'.

Yep.  That's an Official Warning!

Bird comes back to the car and off we go.  No worries, right?  Wrong.  Bird is clearly upset and weirded out.  She is still gobsmacked as to why she got pulled over in the first place.  And I have no good words of wisdom other than to keep repeating, "At least he only gave you a warning".  Granted, I KNOW that was not very comforting.

My Mother's Worst Case Scenario

Reality!

  

Kiss The Blarney Stone...

Bartender Sam

Blarney's, Mitchell, South Dakota

Our Bartender Sam from Blarney's in Mitchell, South Dakota.  He tried to "hang" with us but his manager had to tell him to quit doing shots.  Apparently this buffed out 21 year old is a lightweight - his own words!!!  He opened a new bottle of Rumple, so it was warm.  Birdie asked him if he would shake it, meaning chill it in a shaker, and he looked at her kinda wierd and said, "ok".  Then proceeded to shake the bottle and his ass at us.  We were both a little stunned for a minute.  Found out shortly after that, he had only been a bartender for 2 weeks!  Priceless!!!  He was very sweet and we had a good time!

Sippi Salutes the Corn Palace

Mitchell, South Dakota

It said that the "Corn Palace Salutes Student athletes" it seemed like the least I could do...just sayin'.  Mind you, it was 6:30 in the morning.

Birdie at the World's Largest Bird Feeder, the Corn  Palace

Mitchell, South Dakota

Ta-da!

Raod Kill 101...

Road Trippin'...

So we had a very uneventful driving day - which is good!  We had many moments in which we both had to laugh at what "good Montana girls" we are.  We are both talkers - okay, BIG talkers.  So Birdie and I "talked" for 12 hours today.  Well Birdie took a 10 minute nap but I'll get to that later...

Back to being "good Montana girls"...first off, there were so many dead animals along side the road.  We saw dead deer, dead raccoon, dead turkey, dead crow, dead fox, dead marmot, dead weasel, dead skunk, dead coyote, dead pheasant, and dead unidentifiable animal.  This isn't anything unusual.  What some people would probably think is unusual is our thoughts and feelings about the LIVE animals we saw.

We like to eat meat.  We are carnivores.  We are not ashamed.

So as we traveled across the great state of Montana and the great state of South Dakota, we daydreamed about the animals we saw, and what side dishes we would like to have with them.  I'll admit it, we actually called out the animals we saw and talked about how we would cook them.  We started with Baby Cow...

Mashed Potatoes

Bacon and Blue Cheese

Sauteed Onions and Garlic

 

Roasted New Potatoes

 

Grilled Asparagus

 

Grandma's Cream Gravy and Green Beans

 

Yes, we are going to Hell.  But we will be going to Hell with our bellies full!

The Corn Palace Awaits Us...

The Corn Palace

Mitchell, South Dakota

Birdie and I are getting ready to take off on the BEST.ROAD.TRIP.EVER.  And by getting ready I mean that we sat at the Bakery for 2 hours this morning talking about all the things that we need to get down by 7am tomorrow morning. And drinking coffee. A lot of coffee.  The breaks on my truck are doing odd things and so our official first stop on the road trip is to stop in Bozeman and drop my truck off at the mechanics so he can fix it while we are gone.  So we will have traveled exactly 46 miles before our first stop.  We are assuming we will make better time as we go and won't be stopping every 45 minutes.

 

Speaking of which...our first scheduled overnight stop of the BEST.ROAD.TRIP.EVER is in Mitchell, South Dakota - home of the Mitchell Corn Palace.  Yay corn!  Not sure it will be open when we get into town or if it will be open in the morning before we leave - but we're hoping.  If nothing else, we can get our picture taken in front of the darn thing...just to prove we were there.  Now I have been to the Corn Palace several times, as I am good 'Ota girl.  This means that I was born in and/or lived in at least two of the 'Ota states...Minnesota, North Dakota or South Dakota.  Just for the record...Born:  Minnesota, Primary Education:  North Dakota, Advanced Education:  Minnesota, 25+ years of life:  Minnesota.  And both my parents and most of my Grandparents are from South Dakota.  Hence, I'm a good 'Ota girl.  Birdie, however has never been to the Corn Palace.  She likes to buy cheap crap just like the rest of us so I am certain she will enjoy it!

 

I digress...so after the Bakery, we both took off to finish getting packed and what-not.  I of course had to take a detour to the top of the Mountain so I could dig through my recycling garbage can.  Occurred to me while at the Bakery that I had accidentally thrown away a very important piece of paper.   It was the piece of paper that had all of Cookies phone numbers on it.  If you have been following the Blog, you will remember that our friend Cookie is who we are going to see in St. Louis.  Cookie lives in Big Sky but is currently on "off-season" and headed home to Missouri to visit his family.  Now those of us living in the 21st century have no need for a list of phone numbers because we all have cell phones. Cookie does NOT believe in the modern convenience of a cell phone.  He's all old school...

 

Cookie's Phone

 

So anyhoo, when Cookie left town he had to write down our phone numbers and I had to write down all of his Family's phone numbers so we can get a hold of him when we get to St. Louis.  I had forgot my cell phone at work that day or I would have just entered them directly.  But alas, I had them written on an actually sheet of paper, which I promptly recycled in my office.  Good grief!!  So up the Mountain I drove...

Lone Peak

Big Sky, Montana

 

And it is not that I mind driving up the Mountain; it's 9 miles of the most beautiful place on earth.  However, I have a break issue in my truck so I was a little concerned about driving down the Mountain.  I went back to my office, which I swore I wouldn't do for another two weeks, and dug through the recycling can.  Ta-da!  Right where I tossed it.  So now we are back on track; we have a means to get a hold of Cookie when we hit St. Charles, Missouri, which is the second night's stop on the trip.

Alright, back to "getting ready" so we can take off tomorrow morning at 7am.  The Corn Palace Awaits Us...

Shot of Tequila with a Bourbon Chaser Anyone?

Why yes, I think I will!

Our fairwell to Big Sky before our Baseball Road trip is going to be the Deby de Mayo party at the Half Moon Saloon.  Birdie is the bartender there and I will act as Mistress of Cermonies for the night.  There will be:

• Betting on the Derby
• Watching the Derby
• Best Hat contest
• Specials on mint julips
• Multi top shelf bourbons to try

then...

• a Tequila tasting (sponsored by The Cave Wine and Spirits)
• Tacos and stuff

then...

• BAR Olympics to include..
• Licnese plate scavneger
• Pounding a nail into a log (for speed) - I know it sounds weird and it is but it is amuzing watching slightly intoxicated people try and do this.
• Beer chug-a-lug
• Popcorn eating contest perhaps
• Ping-pong bucket toss
• The clothes pin game perhaps
• and of course knocking the stuffin' out of some pinatas

And a DJ and lots of free stuff!

Tents or sleeping in your truck is highly recommended!

 
 
 

Swimming with Shark could be dangerous!

My friend.  The shark.

This past weekend was very productive. With regards to the best baseball road trip ever, that is!  It wasn't really all that productive in any other ways.  Birdie & I have successfully procured tickets to the Cubs @ Brewers game on Wednesday, June 6th.  We hadn't really planned on going to this game but it is after all on our way from South Haven, MI to the Twin Cities!  And it just so happens that I have a friend that owes me a favor - big surprise right?  This friend will absolutely want to remain anonymous so he will just be known as Shark.

Shark is a lawyer by trade but does a variety of other things as well.  And since he definitely will not want to be identified, I will leave it at that and not go into the fun and fascinating details about his many other pursuits.  The one pursuit that I do need to mention is that he is a huge Brewers fan.  Huge.  I know, weird, right?  Anyhoo, not only is he a huge Brewers fan but also happens to owe me $150 on some misguided football bets from this past season.  He actually owed me $300 but magically talked me into taking the Vikings over Green Bay - I'm pretty sure I had been drinking.  Actually, I'm positive. I was drinking.

Miller Park

Home of the Brewers

So as part of his repayment plan, I called in the "Hey Shark, I need tickets" favor.  And POOF!  we now have tickets to the Cubs/Brewers game.  When asked where the tickets were located, he said, "On my desk".  Arrrgg!  He knew darn well I meant where are our seats located!  But he is a wordsmith of sorts so I shouldn't have been surprised.  He claims to have an IQ of 169, which I usually believe.  Until, of course, he starts calling me 132, which I do not appreciate.  That's a story for another day - or another blog.  (Ha ha, it still cracks me up that I have a blog.)  Shark can't remember exactly where our seats are located because he has purchased so many tickets to so many games blah, blah, blah.  Show off.  But they are either Left field bleachers or Left field baseline.  The really amusing thing is he provided me with the names of the beer vendors in both of those sections.  The man is prepared if nothing else!  So we are either sitting in beer vendor "Bucksnort's" section or in beer vendor "Jerry's" section.  Priorities people! 

I also asked Shark to make a recommendation for a hotel.  I wanted something cheap but not dirty.  Seems like there is a joke in there somewhere...So he gave me the name of the hotel he usually stays at when he goes to games.  And he is coming to this game too - which ought to be really interesting  - we like to party.  So I called the hotel this morning to inquire about availability and price, etc.  I totally dropped Shark's name to see what would happen.  And it was actually kinda funny.  She's all "Ohh, well since you know Shark, we will give you the double room at the single room rate".  This worked out to be exactly $5.  Bahahaha!  It's good to have friends in low places.  I'm totally going with the assumption that she thinks we are prostitutes coming to "visit" Shark.  Not.

Even Jesus Hates the Yankees

Just sayin'...

Oh ya, ya betchya!

Target Field, Minneapolis, MN

Home of the Minnesota Twins!

So we actually have tickets for one of the games we are going to!  Not imaginary tickets or "I got it covered" tickets but real life actual paper tickets - and it just so happens to be for the game on my Birthday.  Did I mention the big birthday I'm having this year?  So Bridie went ahead and purchased these tickets a few days ago and apparently it was a huge pain in the ass!  I mean HUGE.  It took her multiple phone calls to multiple sales outlets just to track down the tickets.  And then figuring out how to get them to us was an even bigger problem.

As you all know, we live in Big Sky, MT; one of the most beautiful places on earth. No, really, it is.  It also happens to be a fairly remote place.  Living on the top of a mountain sounds really glamorous, I know.  But it does have its drawbacks.  Like getting things shipped to you.  We have a post office but no direct-to-your-door mail delivery.  Everything goes to the post office.  FedEx will deliver to your door and I think maaaaybe UPS does too.  But, and this is a big but, you have to actually have a street address.  I lived here for a good year and half before I knew that A.) I had a street address and B.) what that address actually was.  Then, about a year ago, the town or county or the google map guys or someone had the bright idea to change all the street names and or house numbers.  No big deal, right?  Wrong.  Apparently Fed Ex and UPS are not privy to our address changes so in their "system" our houses don't exist.  And if our house doesn't exist then they can't bring you baseball tickets.  Eventually Birdie gave them the address for the Mail & More shipping place in town and had the tickets sent there. 

Mama B & Ahab

So anyway, the tickets arrived this morning and we are good to go for the Cubs at the Twins on Friday, June 8th.  And we will have the pleasure of the company of my friends who we will call Ahab and Mama B.  Ahab was the best friend of Manfriend Driver (RIP Driver - I miss you!) and Mama B is Ahab's lovely wife.  He is a total hoot and she is arguably one of the sweetest people I have ever met.  I'm always so jealous of calm people.  I try to be calm.  I swear, I do!  I'm just not good at it.  Calm seems like such a good idea and it looks so relaxing on other people.  I just really, really don't seem to be able to get the hang of it.  So they will be joining us and I'm so excited about it there is just no way I could be calm!

Big T comes through in a Big Way......

I'm thinking we should have called this "Birdie & Sippi's Big Bad Ass Fun Baseball Road Trip"!  I just spoke with my friend from Chicago today.  He may not want to be identified by his really name so maybe we will call him by his initials.  Let's call him Big TP.  Big TP?  Now that does not sound like big fun.  Maybe just Big T is better?

So Big T lives right in Downtown Chi-town.  He has been kind enough to offer us a place to stay while in Chicago and has worked his bullshitting magic and is going to hook us up with tickets to the Cubs-Phillies game(s) and maybe the Cubs-White Sox game(s) too!  When I say Big T is working his bullshitting magic - I mean it as a compliment.  He's a big dude and a big talker and gets big things done.  If Big T tells me he's got us taken care of, then he has us taken care of. 

Big T was a very close friend of my Manfriend Driver (RIP Driver - I miss you).  Big T and I haven't seen each other in 2 years but I have no doubt that it will be just like we haven't missed a beat.

Prepare yourself Chicago cuz crazy is coming to town!

We have a plan - I swear!



Sippi & Birdie

So Birdie and I are going on a little baseball road trip in about a month.  We thought we would try a blog.  May have been a really, really bad idea as I have never blogged and am not really sure what I am doing.  Right now I am trying to figure out how we can both write on the blog.  Apparently it is possible by "Adding Author, in WordPress" but since I have no clue what WordPress is, it has been a bit of a struggle.  If we ever get this figured out, here is our intent...

Birdie and I love baseball.  Well, ok, I like baseball alot; Bridie LOVES baseball.  But not just any ol' baseball, Birdie LOVES the Chicago Cubs; and in a pinch the Detroit Tigers.  Although, she is mad at Detroit right now.  No, not the Tiger's baseball team but at the actual City of Detroit.  That's a whole other story...Anyhoo, I digress...so Birdie LOVES the Cubs.  She's from South Haven, MI and apparently you can be a Cubs fan based on proximity to Chicago.  Did I mention her dog's name is Wrigley???

I'm a Twins fan myself, being the good St. Paul girl that I am.  Twins baseball is good - some seasons really good.  We have won two, yes two, World Series in my life time - take that Birdie! - and usually have a pretty good line-up.  But as much as I may, and people from Minnesota in general may love the Twins, they can be a little disappointing.  Watching them choke at the end of multiple amazing seasons is really annoying.  Watching players that they brought up go to other teams because we won't fork over the dough to keep them makes me insane, yes, insane.

Our current plan of action...
Leave Big Sky, MT and drive to St. Louis.  There we will meet up with our friend who we will call Cookie and see the Cubs at the Cardinals.  After St. Louis we head to the Mother Ship - Chicago that is.  We will meet up with my friend Big T and go to a couple Phillies at Cubs games.  We have another friend Dougie who keeps threatening to take us to a White Sox game but that is still undecided.  Then we head to South Haven, MI to visit Birdie's family.  I leave Birdie there so I can go back to work for about two weeks and then head back to South Haven (yes I am flying - cheap ticket less than $200).  From MI we then head to WI where we are still waiting to hear from another of my friends - we call him Shark - to find out if he can get us tickets to the Cubs at Brewers game.  Then from there we continue on to the Twin Cities (ahhhhhhhh) to see the Cubs at the Twins.  Did I mention that game is on my birthday???  Hmmmm?  Did I?  Well it is.  And it's a pretty big birthday so I'm looking forward to it!  Then we leave there and travel back where it all began, Big Sky, MT.  And back to the real world and jobs and stuff.  Sounds good, no?